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The Invisible Player

by JeV

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1.
My head is full of thoughts, of private conversations Interrogating ghosts, fighting my frustrations With the one who cares about the ball With the one whom I’ve been sharing home With the one who fed me in the womb Over-thinking, overwriting pages and pages no one’ll never hear My own movie no one’ll ever read If you feel any resistance, then you need to get some distance If your character is bleeding, then it’s time to stop the acting If you feel any resistance, then you need to get some distance If your character is slowly dying, then stop the acting I fear more and more the dreamless nights Dreams, dreams, what have I done to you? Focusing on the past is no longer an option Comes the time when you’ve got more behind than ahead And my hands I only carry ashes Cause everything we touch eventually turns into ashes I’m selling all my gold, all my nights Making plans for the past I’m selling my soul to the dreamless nights
2.
Hurricane 04:00
I don't understand all the things they expect from me My boss, my mother, my cat, my girl, my best friend We judge, approve and mostly disapprove With everyone who's not one of us The world we live in, obsessed with controlling Feeding on scandal, jealousy and betrayal We're going digital, choosing connection Trying to hide imperfection Now I can't see / Why don't you see me? Can't you hear? / I'm on your feed I'm standing on my feet I see your feed I'm falling on my knees Cause I can't stand being the invisible player I'm more than just a number I'm more than you'll remember My inevitable expectations Towards ruthless organisations Are generating permanent frustrations I can't play unless everyone is aware that I play Misunderstanding me, it's killing me And ruining my efforts of contributing Cause I can't stand being the invisible player I'm more than just a number I'm more than you'll remember You only notice balance when it's gone I'm gone to my wonderworld I'll say my words behind the curtain I feel them like a hurricane
3.
Empty bottles of vodka under my bed (We got a situation / yep) But it's not what you think (Nan, nan, nan, t'inquiète) The sun, the light, are now forbidden Exactly what you think (Depression?) More of an introspection An investigation on the causes that make me wanna burn burn burn And listen to the saddest songs ever written (Team Spotify) My friend? They know I'm OK At least they think I'm OK Cause I'm easy to distract but (Yeah, so what?) When unoccupied I realise that... I try to communicate and yet I can barely speak I do my best to integrate You're so cold, I look desperate I'm paid to communicate and yet I refuse to speak When the audience's full of shit I can't do this anymore Under every here and now Lies a painful later (Nice) A sudden rush, again a sudden rush From your look to your words (What?) Cross-targetting my weakness, my believing you're the one Trying not to hope that you are not the one (Oh I see) Don't you think I try to change you girl I wanna do ourselves a favour Fighting for you as much as you need to fight for me too (Fight) I fear of losing you as much as I fear being with you But if the good are never easy and the easy never good Then the hardest must be the best I can't do this anymore (Do you hear what I say?) I can't do this anymore (Do you really care?)
4.
The Prestige 05:19
Every magic trick begins with the pledge A balanced scenery or a bird in a cage Out of nowhere we perform To our home we're bringing storms An inevitable turn No return to where we were before There'll be no Prestige to this trick cause no one's in control No cheering audience to witness the extinction of it all Our resources are the blankets we selfishly pull to ourselves And we drifting on a sail-less ship And we're tearing it apart And we're so obsessed by death, the only present, the only legacy to our children What are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of the Prestige?
5.
Desire 03:18
I've been patient this time, for the first time But your door seems to be so further away every day Not for the first time The loving comedy is not a game you want to play Away, the secret, the key to unlock the dimension where there is a you and a me Away, the trigger, I want her to finally show me the place Where desire lies I don't have a girlfriend but I dance with my eyes closed Let the music take my hand 'cause you're taking me nowhere
6.
The weight of your judgement depends on what I mean to you The harder the decision, the more you care, that's true Silent words flying across the room Not even close to what we think we now The truth remains unspoken How easy was this decision to make? Tell me please before it's too late Tell me please before we disappear As quickly as the wave wiping out the names in the stand Or as slow as the colours of a poster in the sun As much as I enjoy unnecessary pain I wonder what's the point of this stupid little game I wanna know the moral of the story What did I miss or didn't understand? Tell me please before it's too late Tell me please before we disappear As quickly as the wave wiping out the names in the stand Or as slow as the colours of a poster in the sun Talk to me, tell me what you feel, let these words out of your mind And hear me so loud on your skin and play it on repeat We would only meet at this intersection
7.
The Quest 04:58
You spend your nights in the city, chasing the lights Until you crash down on another brand new bed Hoping this time you'll be fine But the night has no mercy for the spirited knights hurrying to find home But it's another mistake, you swear it's the last one that you make Next step forward, now's the time to complete your quest Disappointment doesn't depend on your amount of expectation The readier you are on your going to war There will always be frustration Do you think I'm ready? I don't really think I am All the time, I think already about next time The closer you are to a someone, to closer the boundaries of freedom How long before I change my mind? Will I ever change my mind?
8.
The Teacher 04:24
Since when is trigonometry so popular in the house of cards we live? Darling, walk with me In bed, in my head, enough a guarantee The cards are apart Maths teacher, he shot himself in the dark Three locked doors and one last drag The roof is about to collapse I'll never love again The tears of trigonometry No rules apply no more to any shape At night, I run behind myself And I feel like I am the ghost of someone else Wrong causes, good consequences Misleading me into the void of enduring twice what you played once What you both played once
9.
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders It is the heaviest weight, the weight of two feathers I feel the weight of your love in those places we once were And the void we create and the stars behind haze, only they remember The life and death of feelings and the silence in between

about

The Invisible Player (2016) is my second album after Yours (2013) and the Sad Stories EP (2016). It's about feelings, football and cats.

credits

released September 16, 2016

Written, recorded and produced by JeV.
Additional writing & recording by Axel Erevan.

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all rights reserved

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about

JeV Paris, France

When I was a kid, I used to play football alone in my room. I was pretending I was a great player, scoring goals all over Europe, from Wembley to Camp Nou. I was faking the pass, the goal itself and the celebration, all by myself, of course.

Later, I grew a new passion. Music.

I guess that, now, internet is my room and I'll be faking again.

But, hey. The music is real.
... more

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